We've got vampires, werewolves and mopey teens. We've got hair gel, glitter, no shirt and an angsty playlist. That's right, we've got a commentary!
It's time for Henry and Ian to make their long awaited return to the Twilight Saga with David Slade's Eclipse. This may be our most tangential commentary yet, but it's not our fault that very little actually happens in this installment of the series. But turn on your Netflix machine anyway and put your headphones on and listen as we ponder which is the better Fanning sister, and why the werewolves still have trousers after transforming back into people.
Rev your engines! Load the Nitous! Grab a Corona! Adjust your seat for optimal ease of access to the pedals! Check your mirrors for pedestrians or cyclists!... And lay down your best smack talk!
That's right, while the Fates of the Furious are being decided in cinemas Watch If is reversing back to 2001 where it all started. Joining your ever present hosts Henry and Ian are the rest of the Watch If family (because 'family' is what it's all about), learner driver Tom and Fast & Furious car-noisseur Nick.
So join us as we watch the film many are calling "Baller" (Nick) and "Better than Citizen Kane" (Nick) and take life a quarter mile at a time.
With Fifty Shades Darker out in cinemas, Henry and Ian decided to watch the original Darker - that being The Twilight Saga: New Moon. Though, as Bo Burnham said "original does not mean good". A film so silly that even Ian couldn't defend it as he did the last one. On the bright side, we're not short on eye candy, with R Pats and Taylor Lautner being moody and taking their shirts off, and moodily taking their shirts off throughout. Also the delightful Michael Sheen turns up to deliver lines through mouthfuls of chewed scenery. So fire up Netflix and listen to our track
What is this, some kind of commentary description? (Be prepared for that joke to be beaten to death) It's commentary time again, and Ian and Henry are watching Suicide Squad: the Final, Ultimate, Extended, "Honestly, we're trying" Cut. But is the additional 10 minutes enough to make sense of this entertaining mess?
Let's find out! So sync up your copy of the movie with our track and listen as we pose the important questions: who edited this? Is Leto a good Joker? Seriously, who edited this?? Why won't Margot Robbie answer my calls? And what's the best Taylor Swift song?
A long time ago (some time last week) in a galaxy far far away (North Greenwich, near the post office then left a bit) com
mentary regulars Henry and Ian watched Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope. They were not alone though, as they were joined by a mysterious, knowledgeable hooded figure who went by the name Old Ben Midgley... though it didn't take them long to realise it was just Tom. With Tom's help, our heroes talk Star Wars: why people love it, why some people hate George Lucas, what it was like seeing it for the first time, whether that red droid was actually killed by R2.
So get your post-1997 edit of A New Hope ready and listen to our commentary - whether you're on the way to the Toshi station to pick up some power converters, or in bed trying to think of Star Wars jokes for a commentary description.
Get your plastic fangs, body glitter and Paramore albums ready, it's time for Watch If's commentary of the vampire classic Twilight. Henry and Ian decided to Netflix and chill with R Pats's sweet haircut, Taylor Lautner's lack of a haircut, Kristen Stewart's 'everything is like, so embarrassing right now' attitude, and a small character whom Henry fell completely in love with. So watch along with us and decide for yourself - are you Team Henry or Team Ian?
Nicolas Winding Refn had a hard time following up Drive, and many people had an equally hard time sitting through his eventual followup, Only God Forgives. That's right, commentary number 4 is the divisive Only God Forgives, which some describe as an art house masterpiece, while others would say nonsensical dumpster fire. Ian likes it, Henry's more 'meh' (though he's also indifferent towards Marmite). Sync up the track and listen - at least this way there'll be actual dialogue happening
For our Fantastic 3rd commentary, the Fantastic Three (Henry, Ian and Tom) got together to watch the 2015 Fantastic 4, and it's nothing short of... a bit rubbish. Join us as we discuss where it all went wrong with this bizarre freak of a film - from terribly wiggy reshoots to some actually decently scary scenes - and try to figure out who's to blame. So sync up and get watching!
Remember Fifty Shades of Grey? That book your mum read when you went on holiday, and would occasionally look disappointingly at your father and wonder what could have been? Well they made that into a movie and everybody hated it... except one. Listen to our commentary as Henry tries to convince Ian that this tale of an antisocial, manipulative millionaire actually has some merit.
Are you tired of hearing us talk about movies, and wish you could hear us talk OVER movies? Well we have the solution: commentaries! Our first is the spooky spook that is Insidious, which is available on UK Netflix. So fire up the Netflix machine, sync it up with our track and listen as Henry guides Ian through the many spooks of James Wan Insidious, from the Darth Maul demon to Rose Byrne's frighteningly faltering accent